About five years ago I went to Moab, Utah for spring break with two of my best buddies, Ryan and Bryan. We had an absolute blast! We went rock climbing, mountain biking, golfing, jeeping, stayed in a cool little hostel, hopped a fence into a hotel to use the hot tub, We had a really good time just being guys. Unfortunately our trip was cut short.
On our third day we were out on a jeep trail called Hell's Revenge, Which just the name is a bit of foreshadowing of the events that followed. As we were nearing the end of the trail my friends and I spotted a sweet cliff that we wanted to try and climb. This was a cliff that was not bolted, so we scrambled up the back side of the cliff to see if we could attach our gear at the top of the cliff. When we got up there we found a big boulder, perfect to top off of. So we set up our gear and got ready to go. Instead of trying to scramble back down I just decided to rappel from the top. I hooked into the rope and leaned back over the cliff. As I leaned back I felt a strange sensation as the rope usually takes my weight, this time it did not and I felt myself falling backwards off the 50 foot cliff. As I fell I felt myself slow for a split second, which I remember thinking "Oh good, the rope caught on something." But that did not last and the meaning of the phrase "life flashing before my eyes" took on a whole new meaning for me. I remember falling and hitting but then the next thing I remember, must have been 2 or so minutes later I heard my friend Ryan yell to Bryan to call 911. I laid their Ryan right by my side as Bryan tried to direct the search and rescue to us. At one point I asked Ryan if I was bleeding much. I could tell my head was hurt but I didn't know how bad. Ryan responded by saying "Just a little bit." I wasn't sure I believed him but oh well. He didn't seem too panicked. A few minutes later I put my hand over my eyes to block the sun and Ryan said " You probably shouldn't put your hand by your face. It's kind if dirty, you don't want to get sick." I remember thinking, "I don't care! Who are you, My mom?" I found out later that Ryan was trying not to panic me but every time I put my hand up blood would squirt a foot out of my head. Apparently When i fell my right heel caught the edge of a boulder at the bottom of the cliff, taking most of the blow but shattering my heel, I then fell on my back and my head slid on the sandstone floor scalping a section of my head. This was a apparently a pretty serious situation when it was all said and done I had lost over 1.5 liters of blood. When the paramedics arrived Ryan and Bryan stayed close to my side Ryan holding my scalp in place until the professionals told him he could leave. I was life flighted to St. Mary's Hospital in Grand Junction Colorado. When I woke from surgery my buddies were standing there. They had driven the 90 minutes to Grand Junction so I wouldn't be alone.
So what does this have to do with male bonding? Your probably thinking " If this is male bonding you can count me out!" What happened that day to the friendship my buddies and I had could happen any where and without a serious situation arising. That day the bond that we had together was solidified. We all knew that no matter what we had each others backs. Both friends played vital roles in saving my life that day. As I mentioned above when I first started to fall I felt myself slow down briefly. I later learned that Bryan, who was at the top with me grabbed the rope when I fell in an attempt to stop me. It slowed me for a second but the rope zipped through his hands, giving him severe rope burns. I knew that day that Bryan would risk his life for me as he did. He cold have just as easily been pulled from the top but he didn't think about himself he thought about me. I learned that Ryan would stick with me through anything, including holding my scalp on. He never left my side, which I appreciated because even though I acted tough I was scared shitless. I really thought I was going to die that day. I believe this same bond could have developed in many other ways, near death need not be involved, however, I feel that we bonded that day in a way only men can.
Men are expected to be the brave ones in a relationship with a women, we are the protectors, the providers, the warriors, although sometimes, we need that for ourselves. That's when our brothers come in, we bond because we need each other, we need to know we have each others backs and that no matter what we will protect and care for each other. We need to know that we have other men in our lives who will help us through the hard times, be the one who's shoulder we can cry on when we can't be the strong one anymore. We always need to be the shoulder for the women in our lives but sometimes we need that same masculine support for ourselves. Women play a vital role as well and we would be nowhere without the strong female presences in our lives, but men offer something to our masculine core that women cannot.
Since that time all three of the spring break 07' crew have gotten married and all three of us almost have two kids ( my second is due any day). We don't live near each other but when we get together there is a bond there that I am sure will be there until the day we die.
So I'd like to take this opportunity to tell those guys something I never have, cuz guys just don't do this. But here it is;
Bryan and Ryan, I love you guys. Thanks for the friendship and thank you for saving my life that day. Not just me but my wife and my kids are thankful for the service and love you offered me that day. Thanks Again
I kinda feel that some men would be willing to risk their lives for male bonding because they want it so bad. You may have almost died but I know I kind of envy you for having a sacred experience like this.
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