Where are the men?

I decided to start this blog to discuss a topic that has been of great concern and interest to me for quite some time and to give men a place to express their feelings about it.  The general topic of the blog is the loss of true masculinity in today's society.  Where have all the men gone?  Many will retort that they are right here, 3 billion of them all around us covering the earth.  I suppose a more appropriate question is; where have all the REAL men gone?  Masculinity and the way it is viewed has changed drastically over the past century.  There are not many “men” left in this world who truly feel comfortable in their own skin and who can truly and honestly and confidently say to themselves " I am a man."  

Young boys all have aspiring dreams to be the hero, to take out the bad guys, to rescue their true love and to be something great. Unfortunately very few ever attain those dreams as they are stifled by a society that tells them to be passive, follow the rules, be gentle, not get dirty, and to generally not take risks.  At the same time they are being bombarded by completely conflicting messages telling them to be aggressive, treat women as objects, have no morals and do whatever the hell they want.  These conflicting messages do not provide a good foundation to build a healthy masculine identity. 

The majority of today’s society of men consists of 2 types of men, passive scared men who do not stand up for themselves, and men who put on a mask of false masculinity to cover up their insecurities and shame.  There really are very few genuine men left in this world.  Men are afraid to be who God intended them to be. 

Passive men have given into the rhetoric of the extreme women’s rights movement.  Now just to clarify, I believe women deserve respect and are entitled to the same rights as men and are equal in worth to men. I do however believe women are different than men and treating the two as completely the same is ridiculous and detrimental to development.  With that said, some men have given into the idea that they are the same as women and that it is a bad thing to be a man.  They believe in order to be a “good man” they need to be passive, stand in the background, and generally hide their masculine potential.  These men have given up on their dreams of being the hero and of making something of themselves in life.  These men will never be a Beethoven, a Washington, a Monet, or a Columbus.  They do not believe they have the right to be great.  They do not believe they truly have the potential to be like other great men.  Somehow they see their masculinity as different and inferior to “great men.” These men have been destroyed by a society that says a good man is actually more like a woman than a man. 

The second type of man is the one who wears the false mask of masculinity.  I have for years, worked with youth in custody.  Boys who have been court ordered into treatment due to criminal activity.  A large majority of these boys are involved in gangs and other rough underground lifestyles, they are a great example of these types of men.  While these boys put on a face of extreme confidence, under that is the same fear and sadness found in the passive men already discussed.  They are insecure with who they are as men and have put on the “thug” mask in order to hide their shame and confusion.  These boys have also given into rhetoric but it is quiet the opposite of the rhetoric given into by the first men discussed.  These boys have given into the idea that a “real man” is a man who proves his masculinity by putting other men down.  By beating another man up, by out running the cops, or overpowering a women and having sex with her.  This is the idea of masculinity these boys have instilled in them.  They choose this because they don’t know where else to turn to learn about being a man.  They are lost.  They join the millions of other lost boys in our society.  We see them as gang members, workaholics, abusive fathers and husbands, drug addicts, porn stars, poor sports, aggressive drivers, the list could go on and on.  The presentations are different but the cause is the same.  Confusion of what it is to be a man. 

I hope that this blog can be a place where topics related to, what it is to be a man, can be discussed and men can learn to tap into their masculine potential.  I am only just starting this journey myself.  I am trying to overcome years of false information about who I am as a man, but since starting down this road I have never felt more free.  If you can relate to anything talked about above, then start your journey with me.